Wednesday, October 07, 2009

The state of horror movies

So I decided to catch up with two recent horror movies before they left the cinema.

First up was Sorority Row. This is a throwback to the slasher movies of the 80s (no surprise since it's a remake of The House on Sorority Row) and, like My Bloody Valentine 3D it's a lot of fun on that level. The acting is pretty bad (apart from the awesome Carrie Fisher, of course) and the plot makes no sense (it's an attempt to do a giallo murder mystery, but not very well done). But the kills are effective, there's plenty of nudity and never a dull moment.

Next I saw Jennifer's Body, which is the complete opposite. It's sooo 2009, to the point where it'll be ridiculously dated within a few years. The dialogue tries way too hard to be hip (no surprise from the writer of Juno) and the jokey tone undermines much of the horror instead of enhancing as in, say, An American Werewolf in London. The film has its moments (a very hot lesbian kiss and a satanic emo band) and the supporting cast is fun. But Megan Fox proves once again that she has the body and acting ability of a porn star. Amanda Seyfried outacts her in every scene. The film has a good premise (a girl possessed by a demon who must eat boys to survive), but the execution didn't work for me. And they don't even have the titular Hole song in the movie!

Next up, Zombieland (which I've heard nothing but good things about).

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Monsters vs Alien and a small rant

So I just watched Monsters vs. Aliens and it leads me to a personal rant. Not about the film - it was a fun movie with great animation and voice work and surprisingly adult humour - but about the fact that Hollywood is stealing ideas RIGHT OUT OF MY BRAIN! See, I had an idea years ago for a movie (actually a sort of sequel to Independence Day) where aliens invaded and the government released various monsters they had captured (including Godzilla and King Kong) to defend Earth.
Ok, so I don't really believe Hollywood producers can read people's minds and steal their ideas (yet) but look at the following evidence for other ideas I had that were later turned into successful movies and TV shows:

Forgotten Lore - a horror story set in a world where vampires have "come out of the coffin" and live among humans. True Blood, anyone? (Yes, I know it was based on a book, but I thought of the idea before that, too)

Azrael - a serial killer who only kills bad people. Turned into another successful TV series, Dexter

- a man cursed with the ability to travel through time randomly. See The Time Traveler's Wife (again, based on a book but I had the idea first)

The Ultimate Remote - a man finds a remote control that can control everyone around him. Got turned into an Adam Sandler movie of all things!

- a group of seemingly normal people around the world suddenly develop superpowers and have to come to terms with their new abilities while evading the government. So just like Heroes.

Virtual World - a man awakes to find he has been living his whole life in an artificial reality and joins a group of freedom fighters to topple the creators of the virtual prison. Got made into a little movie a while back that not many people saw.

Dark World
- set in a future where vampires rule the world and the last surviving humans are bred like cattle. I thought this idea was safe until I saw the trailer for Daybreakers. Bugger.

Writer's Block - a writer finds the characters in his books suddenly coming to life. See Inkheart. Or Bedtime Stories. Damn that Adam Sandler!

I also had an idea that was eerily similar to the TV show Reunion, but since nobody watched that we'll forgive that one.

Curse you Hollywood!!!

But in all seriousness, if any movie producers are reading this (unlikely, I know) I have tons more marketable ideas like these that you can buy cheap. Just give me a call. No mindreading is necessary.