Twin Peaks: The Return

Anyone who knows me knows that Twin Peaks is one of the TV shows that had the biggest impact on me. Only The Simpsons and Buffy the Vampire Slayer come close. So I was more than a tad excited when it was announced that it was coming back after a 25 year absence. And also worried, because history has taught us that long awaited continuations of pop culture milestones usually suck. And David Lynch, much as I love the guy, has been a little hit and miss with his most recent movies. But I was mainly hopeful, since Mark Frost (who wasn't involved with the movie prequel) was coming back, along with nearly all the surviving cast. Needless to say, the result was nothing like I expected. If you haven't watched Season 3 and want to avoid spoilers, stop here.

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Part 1: The first episode is something of a shock to the system. Agent Cooper and the town of Twin Peaks are almost nowhere to be seen. Instead, the episode focuses on new mysteries like a box in New York that contains one of those monsters that likes to kill people during sex and a Principal (Matthew “Shaggy” Lillard) accused of murdering a librarian whose body, minus the head, is missing. Only a scene between Hawk and the Log Lady (it’s very sad watching the terminally ill Catherine Coulson in these scenes) has the feel of the old series. Luckily, the sense of dread and questions raised are intriguing enough to make the first episode fly by pretty quick. Mostly, I'm just happy TP is back, even if I have no real clue what the fuck is going on.
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Part 2: In this episode we get to spend more time with the evil Cooper doppelganger, who has pretty much been running a criminal empire. Kyle MacLachlan is scary good as the reptilian Mr. C. We also check in with some more classic characters such as Shelly and James, and hear mention of other characters from the past such as Phillip Jeffries. The highlight of the episode has to be the evolution of the arm, though. Instead of being a little person played by Michael Anderson, he is now a tree with a talking blob of flesh on it. Lovely. Things are starting to fall into place.

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Part 3: After a fairly conventional first two episodes, this one pulls out the full Lynch. We follow the good Cooper in his attempts to escape from the Black Lodge in a mostly dialogue-free sequence. He succeeds but ends up swapping places with another Cooper double, Dougie Jones. Dougie-Cooper wanders round a casino, becoming “Mr. Jackpots” thanks to his luck on the slot machine. There's a genuine sadness in seeing how some of the characters have aged, such as FBI agent Albert Rosenfield (the late great Miguel Ferrer). We also check in with some old friends at the Twin Peak's Sheriff  station, but mostly this is as far from Twin Peaks as the show has gone. So far.

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Part 4: “Helloooo!” Back on more familiar ground this episode. Aside from a creepy meeting between the FBI and Cooper’s doppelganger, this is probably the most humorous episode so far. We're introduced to the new Sheriff Truman (Harry’s brother, played by the delightful Robert Forster, since Michael Ontkean didn’t want to return). But this episode is legendary for one reason - Michael Cera's hillarious performance as Andy and Lucy's biker son, Wally Brando. I will fight anyone who doesn't love this cameo.

Episode rating: Five Wally's

Part 5: This episode is mostly killing time, though we do get to check in on various people in Twin Peaks and follow catatonic Dougie-Cooper in his family life (Naomi Watts, introduced in the last episode, is great as his wife, Janey-E) and his insurance workplace (oh, hello Tom Sizemore). Also get confirmation that Bob is still inside Evil Cooper, so there's that.

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Part 6: This episode introduces assassin Ike “the Spike” and brings back Harry Dean Stanton. But the highlight has to be finally getting to meet Diane (the perfectly cast Laura Dern).

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Part 7: This episode has the return of Doc Hayward (the late Warren Frost) and a very disturbing scene where Diane meets the fake Cooper. We also get a glimpse of the real Cooper emerging when Dougie and Janey-E are attacked by Ike “the Spike”. Maybe Dale's about come back? No, you have to wait 10 more episodes.

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Part 8: An episode that features Evil Cooper being brought back to life by dirty woodsmen and Nine Inch Nails performing in a dive bar in the middle of nowhere – and those are the least strange parts of the episode. The rest defies summarizing, it just has to be experienced. “This is the water and this is the well. Drink full and descend. The horse is the white of the eyes and dark within.” Features many things that will never be explained, from a Kubrick-esque atomic explosion to a really gross frog-bug.

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Part 9: After the strangest hour of TV in history, it’s back to relative “normalcy”. Bobby Briggs discovers some important information about his father, Major Briggs. It’s satisfying to see Bobby finally became the good person his father believed he could be, even if not much else happens.

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Part 10: Probably the most unpleasant episode of the series yet, focusing as it does on Richard Horne (Audrey’s son) and his violence against women. We do get to see how ripped Dougie-Cooper is for an older gentleman though (Janey-E notices, too).

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Part 11: A much more satisfying episode than the previous one. Shelly and Bobby share a scene together (they split up, but they have a daughter) and Dougie-Cooper wins over the Mitchum Brothers, the gangsters that were going to kill him. He even eats cherry pie!

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Part 12: One of the best episodes is followed by one of the worst. We finally get to see Audrey, thankfully, but even by Lynch standards the meaning of much of the conversation with her “husband” is incomprehensible. The only scene with Kyle MacLachlan is a shot of him getting hit with a baseball and the end scene has a bunch of characters we don’t know talking about other people we don’t know.

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Part 13: Another episode that seems to be mostly turning wheels before the big climax, but at least it’s more entertaining. Highlights include Bad Coop arm wrestling a gang leader and James singing his classic high-pitched love song from the original series.

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Part 14: This is more like it! Some great expansion of the mythology here, including Andy (yes, Andy) meeting the giant (now known as “The Fireman”) and rescuing the mysterious woman Naido from episode 3; James learning about his British pal’s magic rubber glove that can’t be removed; and Sarah Palmer reacting to a guy harassing her in a bar by . . . you just have to watch it.

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Part 15: This episode has all the feels. Norma and Big Ed finally get together. The Log Lady dies. David Bowie’s character Phillip Jeffries comes back as a giant teapot. Oh and Dougie-Cooper sticks a fork in an electrical socket.

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Part 16: Aside from episode 8,this is undoubtedly the highlight of the series. Richard (yes, he is Bad Coop’s son) gets his just desserts. Diane is revealed as a tulpa. Eddie Vedder! Tim Roth and Jennifer Jason Leigh (playing two assassins who seem to have wandered in from a Tarantino movie) die spectacularly. Audrey gets to dance (but something is very wrong). And most importantly, the greatest FBI agent of all time is back!

 

No, not that one. This one:

If you're only just watching the show now, be glad you don't have to wait a week for the next episode.

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Part 17: Everything comes together in this episode. We learn that the real big bad this whole time was the often-mentioned, never seen Judy. Cooper is back to his old self and Bad Coop is defeated by an unexpected hero. And then Bob gets Hulk-smashed to hell. Everything seems fine. But then Coop makes the classic mistake of traveling back in time to change history (by saving Laura Palmer). Julee Cruise sings, but not for long. This is a good episode to end at if you want a semi-upbeat conclusion to the series.

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Part 18: If 17 was for the fans, this is all Lynch. The only happy part of the episode is a manufactured Dougie (or is it the real Cooper?) returning to live with Janey-E and Sonny Jim. Otherwise, it’s bleak, unsettling fair, with half of the episode seemingly devoted to mostly dialogue-free driving scenes. Cooper is no longer acting like himself, dealing violently with redneck diners and engaging in joyless sex with Diane. As the ending scenes with Cooper and Laura Palmer’s doppelganger in this new dimension drag on and on, we realize that none of the dangling questions are going to be answered by the end. But the disturbing final shot will linger in the memory for a long time.

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In conclusion, Twin Peaks came back, and it was both weirder and more entertaining than I could have hoped for. That’s something to be thankful for, regardless of how frustrating it was at times. Thank you David Lynch, Mark Frost, and all your collaborators. The subplots about Bobby and Shelly's daughter (Amanda Seyfried), Dr. Jacoby and his golden shovels, and many more may have gone nowhere. But at least you answered most of the big questions. Except this one, damn it!